And isn't it romantic...?

Most days marriage is a routine. When you are connecting and communicating, sure its a blessing, but when you're living your day to day life buried in stress and responsibility and obligations, sometimes it is easier to go through the motions than simply appreciate each moment.

I mean, think about it: You wake up, maybe take a beat to say good morning if you're on a similar schedule, but otherwise its more of a rush through the shower, shove in some breakfast, and bolt out the door. Then, you spend 8 hours on average focused on the highs and lows of a work day. Sometime this time apart is much longer. I know when I am working a film, my eight hour days stretch into12-14 hour ones. If you are lucky you are back home by seven...exhausted. What's for dinner? I need to unwind. Is it really that late? Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Some weeks its easy to lose the romance. Any adult knows that love and romance are two separate worlds. While its amazing when those worlds collide, the active effort to make that happen dwindles once the honeymoon is over.

What is a relationship, but work. Yes. Work. Working at connecting. Working at growing together. Working at appreciating one and other.

I think marriages that fall apart are the ones that fail to understand this concept and prioritize their lives around it. Lets be honest, if you stopped working at your job you'd get fired. If you forgot to care for your plants they'd die. The same is true of your relationships.

My husband and I like to write each other love texts throughout the week. A reminder that when we finally get to go home and unwind, that there will be someone warm to unwind with. We've made morning kickboxing part of our routine together. We sing each other silly songs. We make a point to shower together at least once a week (TMI I'm sure). We constantly work at our togetherness.

I've been thinking about our wedding song. Its been playing in my head this week. (Death Cab for Cutie's "I'll Follow you into the Dark). I'm thinking a lot about the lyrics lately and I know that whatever may come, my hubby and I will face it hand in hand. Perhaps romance isn't about the grand gestures, but rather about the quiet moments of stillness together after the hard work is done.