The Ups

Everything feels cyclical. Right when you think you can't take any more hard news then you get a kind break, maybe even a period of bliss, or visa-versa. So maybe sometimes it feels oblong, but I think you catch my drift. Only 2 months ago I was lamenting the fact that I didn't think we would have a house anytime soon with the rise in housing prices. I had accepted the seemingly apparent fact that I would have to wait at least a year to get a home, and you know what I was more than okay with that, buuuuut.....WE GOT A HOUSE! I just received the keys last night. Brian and I giddily walked around our empty house imagining what we could do in each room and all the projects they will entail. While I know we have a lot of work to do I am still more than excited.

To top off this news only two weeks ago I found out that my sister and her man got engaged! To make life even sweeter she has asked me to be her maid-of-honor. I'm just going to enjoy this moment in time before it passes me by.

In a slightly related note, with my sister getting engaged, I would like to put an offer out there. I made a "Mr. & Mrs." wedding sign for my own wedding last year. I saw something similar on Etsy and just made my own template to save myself the $50 plus shipping I would have had to pay. If there are any soon to be brides out there that would like one, I am offering to make this sign for the first person who makes a comment on the page (about yourself and anything else you would like to add). Later on we can discuss the color details and when I can ship it. You can use the sign for your pictures, sweetheart table or whatever. I also have the blue and white sign with yellow accented stenciling that I made for my wedding. I don't want to throw it in the recycling bin because it's still in good shape, so if you would like it for your wedding let me know!

A Future Delayed

Life isn't as convenient as it should be and growing up has not necessarily lived up to all its potential.I remember dreaming about what adulthood would be like when I was a little girl. I remember even going so far as making statements about what I would do different than my own parents. Now that I am a "grown up" I can help but feel I am still a little girl.

I wonder if everyone feels like this? Like the little kid who snuck downstairs to observe their parents party? I wonder if I will ever truly feel grown up.

Part of my assumption of not being a grown up has to do with my inability to lay down roots. We are on a terminal hold up. We don't want kids until we have the house, we can't afford the house until we pay off the student loan debt, we can't pay off the debt while we are wasting money renting, and so on and so on.

I wonder if these things worked themselves out, would I finally feel like an adult? Would I finally feel like I had some semblance of control over my life. Or do we always feel just a little bit lost?

Mother May I

My husband asked me permission to go out of state for a soccer game. I was a little surprised because I don't ask him for any permission to go out with my girlfriends. I know how important his guy time is and I cherish my girl time. I feel bad for other husband's who are actually afraid of their wives. I value my independence and while I do take his feelings into account when I do something, I don't like feeling caged or restricted. I still go to shows and party's by myself and don't mind if he does too. I told him if anything I just want to know how much money he is spending. I don't like my husband to be scared to ask me anything. I told him there is no reason to say no unless I am some crazy, selfish person.

While I don't like to restrict him I know I will be the kind of mom who says no to our kids. But my husband is not a child and I am not his mommy. His free spirit is one of the reasons that I love him. Whenever I get stuck in my ways he throws in his perspective and reminds me to value his opinion. Granting him permission to be himself sounds ludicrous.