A Future Delayed

Life isn't as convenient as it should be and growing up has not necessarily lived up to all its potential.I remember dreaming about what adulthood would be like when I was a little girl. I remember even going so far as making statements about what I would do different than my own parents. Now that I am a "grown up" I can help but feel I am still a little girl.

I wonder if everyone feels like this? Like the little kid who snuck downstairs to observe their parents party? I wonder if I will ever truly feel grown up.

Part of my assumption of not being a grown up has to do with my inability to lay down roots. We are on a terminal hold up. We don't want kids until we have the house, we can't afford the house until we pay off the student loan debt, we can't pay off the debt while we are wasting money renting, and so on and so on.

I wonder if these things worked themselves out, would I finally feel like an adult? Would I finally feel like I had some semblance of control over my life. Or do we always feel just a little bit lost?