You + Me = us

Its been a little while since I've posted, though I have stopped and started posts too many times to count in the last 3 weeks. It wasn't writer's block so much as it was emotional exhaustion.

Here at the McB house, crises are as abundant as as snow in the mountains. Between being sick, my sister getting in a car accident, hubby's family dealing with a couple of major medical issues, I am plum worn out.

So what do you do when the world is shattering around you? You cling to the most stable thing around you and hope for the best. That's my husband. My stable thing.

I won't say I have the perfect husband. I'm sure we both have laundry lists of things we wish the other would improve on. I would give my eye teeth for more romance and I would not be surprised if he sold his soul to have me be the driver more. Yet our short comings are insignificant when compared to our dedication to each other's happiness.

I am starting to realize that in spite of our many years together before the wedding, we were never one entity or one force. We were always K or S. There was no guarantee.  Now its like an unspoken requirement that you choose your spouse's feelings and need above anyone else's. You are a team and if you want that to last, you work at developing this new joint identity.

Its a very strange metamorphosis, the blurring together into one. It doesn't happen all at once. Instead, the realization that you are less of a "me" and more of a "we" seems as natural as growing your hair. Soon people start treating you like you are a single being, as if all knowledge imparted to either of you is shared by osmosis.

Maybe it is.

At the very least there is a lot more intimate conversation. Or should be, if you expect the marriage to grow instead of shrivel.

Its not even weird to call him my husband anymore. People have stopped asking the dreaded "How's married life?" 7 months into marriage I now feel we are married.